The Voice of London Episode XIV

So it's been a while since I wrote a new Voice of London. Why? Does it matter? No? Good. Anyways, winter's upon the northern hemisphere officially now. The solstice was yesterday or today or some day this week at any rate. That means the days are going to be getting longer. I'm all for that. Temperatures dropped here in London, seemingly to coincide appropriately with the change of season. Now there's a dense fog covering the city that's supposed to last till Boxing Day. British Airlines says it's going to cost them £25 million. There are huge delays and cancellations at the airports. Heathrow's probably a hotbed of Christmas cheer right about now. And speaking of that most unescapable of religious holidays which continues to be celebrated despite the vast secularist conspiracy bent on destroying it, the day itself is just around the corner. And by corner I mean weekend. On that day, of course, we celebrate the grafting of the birth of a messianic sun-god figure onto pagan solstice rituals by exchanging gifts and sentiment laced cards while gathering together with our families in the hope that we may be able to endure their company long enough that we don't resort to imbibing egg nog to the point of intoxication whereupon we tell off some member for past grievances, creating new rifts between siblings, parents, second cousins, or what have you. Ah, Christmas...
Anyhoo, if there's anyone back in the colonies who knows of some trinket, foodstuff, or other product to be found in the United Kingdom that they would like, now would be a good time to let me know so I can try to find it for cheap at some kind of post season sale. On the other side of the equation, for people who want to get me a gift (specifically those who want to get me a gift but don't know what material objects I would enjoy or don't want to go to the trouble of shipping and have thus decided that a donation made in my name would be the best solution), I support organizations fostering the collection and dissemination of information. As such, if donation's your thing send it to Erowid.org or Wikipedia. Of course, there's always the Antony Matthew Hawkins Brokeness Prevention Fund. Send cash, cheque, or money order payable to Tony Hawkins to the Antony Matthew Hawkins Brokeness Prevention Fund, care of Jim or Petchie Hawkins, Box 133, Killarney, MB, R0K 1G0 and they will ensure it is deposited in a bank account set up specifically to combat Antony Matthew Hawkins brokeness. Don't delay, act now. Money. It's in your wallet to give me.
I went to the Natural History Museum today. It was pretty cool. It's a beautiful building. I didn't get any pictures of it but I will when I go back to go to the Science Museum. Inside they have dinosaurs. I took some pictures. One was a Tyrannosaurus Rex. It went "RAAARR." I took a picture of the triceratops too. It didn't say anything cause it was just bones. The bones didn't move but I still liked it anyway. Then there was a room with a whale. It was huger even than the dinosaurs. There was elephants too. And they had old kinds of elephants too but it was just their head bones. Some of the old kinds of elephants were bigger than real elephants and they had big tusks and they had a pole to show how tall all the kinds of elephants are and it was really tall. And you know what else? There was a thing with these ants and the ants ate fungus that they grow on leafs and some of the ants were walking on the water. I bet Jesus would have to try pretty hard if he wanted to impress those ants.
Speaking of children, or rather speaking like children, and in fact this doesn't really have anything to do with children, I went to see Pan's Labyrinth last week. I guess it sort of has to do with children in that the movie is about a girl who is a child and it's sort of a fairy tale, but it's not a fairy tale for children. It's actually brutally violent. The AV Club has listed it, along with Children of Men, The Departed, and The Prestige (half of the other movies I've seen in the cinema here), as one of the best movies of the year. Even though I was expecting more focus on the fantasy aspects of the story and would like to have seen more than what was present, I would have to agree. Guillermo del Toro certainly has an eye for design, realized most demonstrably in this film in the character of the Pale Man. The scene with this character is one of the most thrilling in the movie and is certainly one of the reasons I would have enjoyed more examples of the fantasy world that is presented. Still, the real world in which the (human) characters are grounded is not a boring one and makes for an unexpected and affecting conclusion. When it comes out over there, go see it. Just don't bring any young kids.
Also, check out the new Hold Steady album Boys and Girls in America, which topped the AV Club's best music of 2006 list, because it is groin grabbingly awesome.
Finally, a brief reminder aimed particularly at anyone who has a hard time reading the lengthier episodes from their email inbox: the Voice of London is also available at http://voiceoflondon.blogspot.com in a narrower column format that some may find easier to read. For those that have a hard time reading these due solely to the length and not because of the formatting, I can't do nothin' for ya man. Oh right, and happy holidays.

Ecumenically yours,
Matthew Hawkins